____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
