Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
