"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
