Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
