Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
