Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize