What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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