HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize