How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i out mim tonsoeep
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