Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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