im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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