Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
