Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
