She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
