If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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