Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
