Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
