we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
