His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
