Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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