apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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