O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
where are you?
Hypothermia
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
