I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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