she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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