i don't like sucking hair
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
