is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
