Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize