I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
