he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
