you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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