Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
