I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
if only i could text you this smell
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
