Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
