No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
