8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
