Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
