Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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