AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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