i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
