WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
