Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
