i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize