We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You smell like stripper and shame
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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