dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
