there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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