You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
