four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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