I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
