She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize