I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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