Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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