Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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