the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
