you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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