I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
